Aconite
by cestlavie0919
Summary: Derek's POV. Stiles is promiscuous. Derek seeks sex for all the wrong reasons. After an argument, Derek comes to a realization he never expected... and the easy nature of their relationship becomes a whole lot more complicated. Rated M for big juicy lemons!
1. Discovery

The leap onto the second floor was fairly simple. I had begun to doubt why humans even bothered locking their front doors when I remembered that not everyone was a werewolf like me. Stiles sat at his computer. I could hear the distinct sounds of porn issuing from the speakers. I walked up behind him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DEREK!" he screamed. His heartbeat trilled in my ears like a marching band. "I told you not to do that!"

I felt the beginnings of a smile tug at the corners of my lips. I gazed at the screen for a moment. "That one porn star looks a bit like you," I pointed out. "A little narcissistic, Stiles…"

I pulled off my jacket, tossing it casually on the floor as he, too began to strip. "Dad is working the overnight shift," he told me. "No time constraints tonight."

"Good," I breathed, my lips grazing his. "I hate feeling rushed." I pushed him onto the bed, unfastening my pants. His were already off. I loved when he seemed eager. I wasted no time in getting to the main event. It wasn't just the sensations it caused that I liked about it. It was the power I felt over this human. The lack of inhibitions I could show because he loved it rough. The ability to lose myself to this carnal pleasure for a little while without the pressure of a quick performance.

He was incredibly tight around my cock. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure through me and caused moans to escape his lips.

As he was on his stomach moaning my name I realized there was an unfamiliarity about him that I'd overlooked in my haste. I stopped, sniffing him. "You smell like Jackson…" I growled.

He seemed annoyed in his reply. "Probably because he fucked me after practice today."

My eyes lit up at the visual. I loved it when Stiles revealed little details that further tarnished the innocence he projected at times. It was no secret that he enjoyed sex. It was hard to name a male in our circle he hadn't fucked at least once. "You dirty little slut…" I purred into his ear. Almost immediately I knew I crossed a line because he tensed.

"Stop," he ordered. "Just… get off of me." Anger was radiating off of him to the point it was palpable.

He sat up in his bed as soon as I pulled out of him. This night was over. "Stiles… I'm sorry."

The daggers he glared into me hurt more than they really should have. He was a fuck buddy… it wasn't even that important. "I'll fuck who I want to fuck, Derek. If you don't like that, then you can go fuck yourself because I don't need you. As you pointed out, I'm a slut…"

I was taken aback slightly. "I didn't mean it like that…" I tried to explain but he would hear none of it. I pulled the condom off, throwing it in his trashcan before pulling my clothes on. A burst of anger tore through me and I wasn't best at self-control when I was angry. "Fuck it," I growled. "And fuck you, Stiles…"

I pulled on my jacket and exited through the window and headed home. Peter greeted me as I stormed to my room. He wore a knowing smile and I knew he could smell the almost-sex I had with Stiles. He always teased me about hooking up with the human. "Of all of them… why him?" he asked one day. "Lydia is a hot piece… and Erica…"

I didn't want Lydia or Erica. I didn't even want Stiles. Just that feeling I got from being with him. How for that little bit of time after I finished, and my hormones were flooding my brain, it existing wasn't painful. I didn't feel the pain and regret of what happened to Laura or the rest of my family. I didn't have to worry about managing the halfway home for helpless werewolves I'd created in my attempt to build my pack.

In the solitude of my own room, I stripped naked, deciding to handle the sexual frustration caused by Stiles' version of coitus interruptus. In the warmth of my own bed, I let my hand explore down to my cock, caressing the tip of it slightly. I closed my eyes, concentrating hard on the night Stiles let me tie him up. It started with him giggling because the safe word he chose was "aconite."

My hand pumped up and down on my shaft as the visual played in my head. He looked so innocent. The blindfold ensured he had no way to prepare for the hot wax I dripped down his torso. His cock pulsed with excitement each time it pooled on his skin and he let out a groan of satisfied pleasure as his ass flexed against the butt plug I had put in him. I remembered caressing and licking the little red marks caused by the riding crop. He didn't know it, but I spelled out the words "Derek's Bitch" on his back with the inflamed skin. I then fucked him so hard, I had to change condoms twice because they broke under the friction. The look on his face when I blasted my load onto his chest seared itself into my mind's eye, causing me to erupt with a moan I knew Peter heard. When I cleaned up after myself, I faded into a restless sleep.

* * *

Several days passed. I kept expecting Stiles to text me, asking me to come over. I didn't get any texts. I finally decided to stop by his house. A strange car was in the driveway. I jumped up to my perch on his roof and peered in, my jaw dropping. He was pounding away at Danny. The two seemed to be enjoying themselves quite a bit and before I knew it, my claws had scratched a hole in the shingles.

The next evening, Stiles' text finally came. "If ur gonna spy on me then u need to not do the whole red eye thing. It gives u away"

Well I was caught. I quickly tapped out a reply "I was coming over to apologize."

"Ur forgiven. Just don't do it again. Why don't u come over."

I ran. I ran very fast, but then I had to kill time in the woods behind the house because I didn't want it to seem like I was too eager. After enough time passed, I went into his room. He was laying on the bed naked. He eyed me, raising his eyebrow in a creepy way.

"This is one hell of a greeting," I chuckled.

"I decided what your penance will be," he replied, shaking his dick in my direction, then poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

"You're not gonna spank me?" I laughed, getting into position to do the time for my crime.

"It's not a punishment if you like it."

I snorted. "I never said I don't like giving head."

"Then why don't you ever do it?"

"Usually we just skip straight to the other stuff!"

Stiles gave me a look that said "You're right!" as I took him in my mouth, I decided to show him what I was truly capable of. His hips bucked and he grabbed his headboard. I could tell he was close already and it didn't help that I had him in the back of my throat and was humming. "Holy shit where did you learn that?"

I didn't want to explain it because it was embarrassing, so I came up off of him stating, "You have your secrets, I have mine."

I quickly grabbed some lube from his bedside table and put a dab of it on my index finger and worked it in, finding his prostate and massaging it as I used my other hand to bring him over the edge. I crawled beside him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily.

I inhaled deeply. The way he smelled after sex was intoxicating. It was musky and masculine, but pleasant. I had to fight to resist my more canine urge to cover myself in it. I scooted in close to him, placing my nose in the spot where his neck and shoulder met, breathing him in. My cock strained against my pants as I wrapped one arm around him, not even caring that some of his semen was getting on my shirt sleeve.

I found myself wondering what was going through his mind as I nibbled on his ear, allowing my tongue to trace its contours. He giggled. "That tickles…" He sounded drowsy. I brought my body closer still, regretting that I hadn't taken off my clothes before we started. I wanted to feel him against me flesh to flesh. It was a sensation I'd felt many times before, yet I couldn't remember it and it was driving me insane. After about ten minutes, I heard soft snoring and decided I should leave, but I couldn't make myself. I did get out of the bed, taking great care not to disturb him in any way. However, I watched him with intense curiosity.

He was so ordinary… extraordinarily so. His skin was pale, his nose looked a little funny and his jaw line wasn't as strong as mine. He had a strange tuft of chest hair growing on his sternum and his body was dotted with various moles. 37 moles, actually. I froze. "How do I even know that?" I whispered to myself. Stiles was convenient. He was a constantly horny teen who had a thing for werewolves. He got grumpy when he didn't have sex at least once a day. He satisfied my needs in the process of satisfying his own. It was mutual… symbiotic even.

But then there were those moments when he would look at me with that spark in his eyes. There were times he would say something that caught me completely off guard and made me laugh harder than I'd ever laughed before… or think about something I didn't realize. He was smart—much smarter than he ever let on. He was optimistic and hopeful. He knew what pain and sorrow was but he refused to let it drive him the way I had. He was kind. And he had that crooked, goofy smile, like the one he was wearing as he dreamed about God knows what… the one that I loved to see. The realization struck me with the intensity of the full moon. I didn't enjoy sex with him because the sex was a distraction from the hell inside my head…. I enjoyed sex with him because _he_ was the distraction. _He_ made me feel sane and normal. I didn't feel like a complete fuck up around him because I didn't have to. I had nothing to prove to him, yet I wanted to prove everything…

"Jesus fucking Christ," I whispered. "I've fallen for _Stiles._"

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! This is going to be a 2-part story with the second part coming soon.


	2. Desolation

I had no idea what to do with the realization. I was conflicted on many levels and in true form, I decided to detach myself from it all and secluded myself from Stiles.

The next afternoon, I got a text from him that said "Sorry abt falling asleep on u." I ignored it. A few hours later: "R u mad at me for it?"

I wasn't mad. I was scared. Of all the things I'd encountered, this scared me the most. Another text made my phone buzz. "Plz come over! I'm really horny!" So was I, but I decided to resist. My resolve shattered after an hour and then I was in his room, my clothes being aggressively tugged off my body in the fleeting moments our tongues weren't probing each other's mouths. Once I was down to my boxers, I reclined in his bed as he licked my body from belly button to chin. He massaged me through the thin fabric as he kissed along my jawline, causing me to moan into his ear.

"I want to try doing you this time," he whispered, looking me in the eyes.

I paused. I had never done that before, but I figured it was only fair. "Uh sure… no one has ever done that to me before…" I replied.

He looked like a kid on Christmas. Immediately he grabbed the lube and began working a finger into me. I grimaced. "Just be gentle… " I begged.

He kissed me. "Don't worry. I'll make sure it's fun for you too."

As he worked his fingers into me, preparing me for his dick, he made out with me. Again, Stiles made me afraid. I knew I had done this to him countless times, yet I had no idea what I was in for. I felt vulnerable and exposed. Suddenly I was scared that my normal sexual prowess would be called into question because I didn't know what I was doing and I was almost certain it would translate into an awful experience for us both. This was uncharted territory for me and while I had an experienced tour guide, my head was racing.

He caressed my length as he put my legs on his shoulders. "Just breathe," he cooed as he rolled on the condom and began pushing in. Almost instantly, I felt like apologizing for the times I had done this to him. It burned and hurt. I gritted my teeth against the intrusion, grasping the sheets beneath me. "You're okay," Stiles urged. "Just breathe. I'll go really slow." He kept his promise. Slowly, he inched his way into me until I felt his legs flush against me. "See? That wasn't so bad!"

_Easy for you to say!_ I thought. I looked into his eyes, trying to hide the pain I was actually in. I didn't like this but I didn't think it was fair to call it off. He was slightly above average in length and girth, but right now, it felt like he had Dickzilla inside me and I was fighting the urge to panic… fighting the urge to defend myself. His gaze soothed me. Slowly he began to pull out. The tugging sensation was almost as bad. He added a bit more lube and began to make a slow, even pace. I grunted, but he kept making comments about how great it felt and despite how much I hated this, I loved the fact that it was me who gave him this pleasure.

"I don't think I'm going to last too long," he warned. "I never expected you'd be so tight…"

Stiles was usually fairly verbal when we fucked, but tonight he was on overdrive. My racing mind mostly drowned out the stream of expletives tumbling from his lips. The burn faded and every few thrusts he'd hit my prostate which felt amazing. I reached up and pulled his face toward mine. He kissed me again as he thrust hard into me. I winced, groaning into his mouth. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I could hear his heartbeat picking up. He was getting close. I nodded and he continued. His pace picked up a bit, causing more pain, but I did my best to keep it from showing on my face until he gave one last thrust and collapsed on top of me, panting for breath. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close while he rode the waves of his pleasure… the pleasure _I_ gave him.

I felt an instinct within me stir, urging me to bite his shoulder and claim him as mine. I struggled and fought back. It was unfair to claim him like that, especially if he didn't want to be claimed by me. _Would _he ever want to be claimed by me? I ran my fingers through his hair, intoxicated by the smell of him.

"What did you think?" he asked finally.

"It was…" I struggled to find a word that was diplomatic enough to express how much I didn't like it, but also convey the fact that he had been great through the entire thing.

He seemed to know by the hesitation in my voice. "If you didn't like it, that's okay. I hated it my first time."

It took me a moment to realize, "Your first time was with me! And you came before I was done! I had to stop…"

He chuckled. "It hurt like hell. But you looked so hot doing it that I couldn't help it… and it was my first time having someone touch me there other than myself!" He looked up at me, placing a kiss on my chin.

Finally he pulled out of me leaving me feeling suddenly empty and uncomfortable. I felt myself spasm at the vacancy and suddenly wanting Stiles to fill it again. He read my mind. "Are you ready for round two?" I nodded and he changed the condom before adding more lube and entering me again. Admittedly, it felt much better. I watched him as he worked hard to make sure I felt good. It was much appreciated. I found myself actually growing hard. He lightly rubbed my length.

Soon I found myself urging him to go faster. "Turn over," he ordered as he pulled out. I complied. As much as I liked bossing him around… it drove me wild when he took control over me. Grabbing my hips, he moved my body to his pleasure, eliciting moans and words of encouragement. "You love this, don't you Danny?" he asked. Immediately I froze. It took him a few moments to realize his mistake. It hurt. "Derek… I'm really sorry…" he said, stopping his thrusts, though still inside me.

I pulled myself off of him, stumbling off his bed. I couldn't turn back and face him right then. Every aspect of my being felt raw. I didn't even have words for my feelings. And despite his attempts to apologize, I couldn't speak in reaction. I pulled on my boxers. He placed a hand on my shoulder, but I rebuffed him. "Derek… it really was an accident… just come back to bed… we can finish…"

I felt rage boil up in me in ways I never expected possible. A lump was forming in my throat and I wanted to cry… but I couldn't. Not because I was the big bad Alpha Werewolf… but because I was so shocked by his callousness. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I asked, keeping my voice low. "If you're so worried about getting off, why don't you blow up Danny's phone like you did mine? I didn't plan on coming over tonight, Stiles… and I certainly didn't plan on letting you be the first to…" I couldn't finish that sentence. It hurt too much.

"Then why did you?" he challenged. "You know what this is! You're not my fucking boyfriend, Derek. You're just someone I can rely on when I need to get off."

I'd rather have eaten pure wolfs bane than hear that come out of his mouth. "Screw you, Stiles," I whispered, not even bothering to pull on the rest of my clothes before I jumped out of his window and ran into the woods. For the first time in years, I cried.

When I got home, I didn't bother to stop and talk to Peter. I bolted up the stairs to my room, letting out a scream. The rage took me over and I shifted. Before I knew it, my dresser had been thrown across the room, a lamp was shattered in the opposite corner. Books were littering my floor, shredded bits of paper raining around me along with splintered wood. Peter opened the door. I glared at him, breathing heavily. He approached, putting his arms around me, hugging me tightly. It was rare that Peter acted this way, but it reminded me of the uncle I had before the fire. "I'd ask if you were alright, but I think that might be a dumb question," he said as I sobbed into his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about whatever it was?" I shook my head. I didn't want to talk. I didn't even want to be sobbing like I was. I didn't want to feel.

He rubbed my back the same way he used to when I was only a child. "Not even a werewolf can heal from heart ache, Derek," he said softly, sitting me down on the bed. "Do you want me to kill someone for you?"

I chuckled. "Why do you always go straight to homicide?"

"Because you're my nephew, Derek. And I love you. We haven't really been close lately and I'm sorry. But I'm trying… and I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me. And that if someone hurts you, they answer to me," he said.

"It was Stiles," I replied, wiping the salty tears from my face.

"I figured as much… you reek of him…" Peter scrunched up his nose. "You really like him, don't you?"

I nodded. "Yeah… but apparently to him, I'm just 'someone he can rely on when he needs to get off' and I can't…" I didn't finish the sentence because there were so many things about this situation that I just _couldn't_. "I'm the worst Alpha ever. I get my heart broken and suddenly I'm demolishing the house…"

"_Never _say that," Peter ordered. "You're a much better Alpha than me _because_ of your emotions. Never see your humanity as a weakness. That's how you become like me."

"You lost your wife and kids, Peter… I don't blame you—" I started, but he cut me off. I could see his eyes getting a little misty.

"And you lost your parents. Loss is loss. All of it hurts, even this. Your father would be so disappointed in what I became… but he'd be so proud of you. Just trust in your instinct, Derek. You'll figure it out. You always do," he said, before getting up to leave me alone with his words and my thoughts.

I didn't bother cleaning up the aftermath of my tirade. I was too exhausted. As I lay in my bed, staring at my ceiling, it replayed itself in my head. I didn't sleep that night or any of the following nights. Soon, exhaustion was added to sadness. As much as I tried to heed my uncle's advice, the only thing I began to feel was emptiness.

* * *

**A/N**: Okay... so it turned into a 3-parter... and it'll get happy! I promise. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I'll update again soon.


	3. Deliverance

Peter told me that it would be easier as time went on. I began to fear that he lied. More than a month had passed and I still had moments in which I doubted my own sanity. We had been friends with benefits. It was casual sex. Why did it hurt so much, then, to hear it from his mouth? I didn't cry anymore. I just didn't feel, except for the throbbing ache that accompanied the occasional errant thought of Stiles.

I ran a lot to distract myself, taking care to avoid the places I knew Stiles hung out the most. Unfortunately, Scott decided he wanted to join me once or twice a week. I knew he was just checking up on me, but I liked the company. He was always careful to avoid anything about Stiles. I appreciated it. However, after more months had passed, even Scott couldn't hold his silence. "You need to call him," he said one day after we finished our run.

I shook my head. "No."

"Derek, I'm worried about him… and about you. You've brought Sourwolf to a whole new level," he continued. I flinched at the nickname Stiles had given me. "He changed after that night. I barely know him anymore."

I snapped. "What do you expect me to do, Scott? Do you even know what happened that night?"

He looked surprised. "He didn't give me specifics… but I'm guessing it was pretty bad."

"We were having sex… and he called me by the wrong name. If that wasn't bad enough, he seemed completely oblivious to why it would upset me and then proceeded to tell me that I was basically his go-to booty call. So no, Scott. I don't want to call him," I growled.

"Your heart raced over the word 'don't'. If you can't fool yourself, what made you think you could fool another werewolf?" he asked. "You don't know what he's put himself through because of that night, Derek. I really don't think he meant what he said." Scott paused for a moment. I could almost see the gears turning in his head. "Why don't you listen in on a conversation I have with him. You can hear his honest opinion and react based on that."

Damn… it was a good idea. I went with it. A few nights later, I was well-hidden outside his window as Scott tried to work his magic. I couldn't see anything and didn't want to risk being caught, so I concentrated hard and listened.

"How are you doing?" Scott asked.

"How does it look?" was the snappy reply.

I could hear Scott take a deep breath before trying again. "I'm worried about you, Stiles…"

"Don't be."

"Stiles, I'm trying…"

"Who asked you to, Scott?"

"I've known you since we were little. You're like a brother to me. And I need to just understand what's going on with you!"

There was a lot of silence. "I fucked up everything," Stiles said. I could hear the sorrow in his voice.

"What do you mean?" Scott encouraged.

"Derek. I fucked it all up. I basically told him that I was using him for sex."

"Well… you _were_, weren't you?"

"The others, yes. But with him, it was different. I cared about him," Stiles replied. I felt an ache in my chest.

"I don't understand… why would you say that to him?"

"I'm not right for him. He's the Alpha of a pack. I don't want to become a werewolf. He deserves much better than me…" Stiles answered. He had it all wrong… he deserved better than _me_.

"Don't you think that's a decision you should have left up to him?" Scott reasoned.

"This way, he can hate me…" Stiles replied.

"Why would you want him to hate you?" Scott asked.

"I figured it would be a better motivator for him to find someone better for him. That's what you do when you love someone, isn't it? You let them go," his voice cracked. I had a lump forming in my throat.

I no longer avoided him. I intentionally put myself in his way, but no avail. I still didn't see him. I began to spy on him, watching his life through his window. I was shocked when I finally laid eyes on him. He was thin. His cheek bones were protruding a bit and his eyes were sunken in. I worried about him.

From my perch in a nearby tree, I could see him alone in his room. I concentrated, trying to listen in. "Stiles, I brought some Chinese food," Sheriff Stilinski announced after a polite knock on the door.

"I'm not hungry," Stiles replied.

"I don't remember the last time I saw you eat. I'm getting really worried about you," the Sheriff called.

"I'm fine, dad!" Stiles yelled.

That was the end of it. Stiles just laid on his bed, holding the jacket I'd left in my haste close to his chest.

I watched him for several more nights. Each time made me more and more worried about him. He was wasting away over me. He was sad over me and I couldn't let that continue. After his dad again tried to get him to eat before giving up and going to work, I made my way to his window before lifting it open and coming inside. My pulse was pounding so loud I could hardly think. Stiles stared at me. He seemed to wonder if I was real or a hallucination brought on by his continued sorrow.

"D-Derek?" he stammered, sitting up. He was wearing the shirt I had left. I nodded. "Why are you here?"

I carefully mulled my answer over before settling on the right wording. "The same reason you are."

I saw the faintest of light glimmer in his eyes as he ran over, nearly tackling me to the ground with the force of his hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, fearful I would crack his bones. I breathed him into my lungs. I ran my finger through his hair, clutching him ever closer to my chest. I felt him crying into me. "Don't ever do that again!" I told him when I could finally manage to form coherent words. When he was finally able to separate from me, I kissed him. I kissed him harder, deeper, more urgently and honestly than I ever had before.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered when the kiss finally broke. "I thought I was doing what was best for you."

"Let me worry about what's best for me," I told him with a smile. "Now let's get you cleaned up. You need to eat."

While he was in the shower, I went downstairs to the kitchen to find something I could make him. All the supplies were there for spaghetti so I set a pot of water to boil and began cooking.

When he came downstairs, he was wrapped in a bathrobe. His hair was still wet. "You were there the night that Scott came over, weren't you?" he asked as he sat at the dining table. I was nearly done.

"Yes," I replied simply as I strained the noodles in the sink.

"I thought I saw you leave, but I passed it off to wishful thinking," he said. "There were other times I thought I saw you too."

"You probably did. I spied on you several times." I mixed the heated sauce into the pot, and then dished it onto two plates. It took me a moment to find the silverware, but soon I was sitting next to him, watching him to make sure he ate before I began.

"Why did you come into my room tonight?" he asked after several moments of silence as he practically inhaled the first plate of spaghetti.

"I was tired of watching you punish yourself. You needed to know I forgive you," I replied.

* * *

We decided to take it slow. He and I spent a lot of time just hanging out, no sex involved. He hadn't had sex with anyone since the night of our argument, but he decided to continue that pattern. We went on dates. Soon, he introduced me to his dad who gave me the stern father's warning about breaking his child's heart, which I assured him I wouldn't.

We had been officially boyfriends for about a month when we decided to have sex. Our bodies were ready for release, having gone so long without it. His touch was electric as his fingers danced along my skin. It took all the restraint I had not to come the moment he grasped my length. I moaned into his mouth, holding his head close to mine. He quickly rolled a condom onto me, lubing us both up. As he lowered himself onto me, I gasped, again trying not to come.

"I'm not going to last long," I managed to say as he moved up and down on me. It didn't take long before instincts kicked in. I pulled him close to me, erupting into the condom and bit his shoulder. He cried out in pain, making me realize what I had done. In my fervor, I claimed him. "I'm so sorry," I panted as the flood of my orgasm washed over me.

"It's alright," he whispered into my ear. I felt a sudden burst of pain on my own shoulder.

"Ouch! What was that for?" I asked.

"I claimed you, too," he replied.

"You understand what it means when a werewolf claims someone, right?"

He nodded. "I'm okay with it. I can be yours."

"Even though I'm an Alpha?" I continued.

"Is it different?" he asked.

"A little, yeah," I answered. "It's like being the Vice President of a very small, blood-thirsty rambunctious organization."

He giggled. "And I'm sleeping with the president? What a scandal!"

We made love several more times. He fell asleep in my arms. I watched him breathe. He looked much better than the day I snuck into his house. There were no more circles under his eyes and he had a healthier pallor. He smiled a bit as he slept and I wondered what he dreamt of. It wasn't long before I, too, fell asleep in the only manner I was ever capable of after that night… with him in my arms.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now that I'm done with this, perhaps I can return to my other stories I've been neglecting... As always, I invite you to comment or review. You can also message me on tumblr where my url is .com


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